Few things are more talked about and glorified (thus, mainly bullshit) than the lives of musicians. These glorifications usually materialize as articles in Rolling Stone or documentaries that provide us peasants a glimpse at the wondrous, vice-pit of heaven-on-earth that is being a famous musician. Each movie, story and anecdote’s synopsis or headline, if not directly then in the subtext, promises to guide your imagination through the fabled international fame, piles of drugs and mobs of crazed fans lunging at your genitals.
Well, hold your nose and squeeze your eyes tight for the dose of spoon-fed reality this list of movies is about to serve you. No stories of burning through life in a mescaline-fueled haze only to end up dead, naked in your bathtub or contracting HIV from constantly engaging in beautiful, anonymous, unprotected sex—just cold hard truth.
5. Spinal Tap
This tale of a sinking, English hair-metal band demonstrates why most of us have no desire to be musicians: the humiliation of failing in front of thousands of people. One can appear cool on the surface, but in reality it’s just a cucumber wrapped in tinfoil stuffed into your underwear.
http://youtu.be/NeGteg74mjw?t=3m58s
4. Almost Famous
Even if you luck out and have a band that seems to be climbing toward fame, it won’t change the fact that you could very easily hate everyone else in the group. The one indisputably great thing about being in the band, you thought, was the groupies, but then it turns out the one you liked (Kate Hudson) was a liar and really not that attractive.
3. Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey
You thought you picked a genre that would expel all of the negative energy you had toward the world. You focus on turning your rage into a constructive, creative hobby only to find that a lot of people view the genre as throbbing with homoeroticism. And if not that, then you might have to share the stage with anarchist sociopaths.
http://youtu.be/3Gl_vIaQ3CU
2. The Devil and Daniel Johnston
Even if you’re blessed with the genius to write and compose great music, fate might have other ideas.
1. Mr. Holland’s Opus
Or, chances are, you won’t even have an opportunity to make it. The stresses of life will cripple you and you’ll be stuck teaching talentless, pigment deficient morons how to squeak out a few notes on a clarinet. Poor bastard should have just killed himself when he had the chance.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eL9k2pTFYrE
