On Nov. 8, Pop ‘stache celebrated its first birthday. Unfortunately, there was no cake, there was no piñata, and there was no lavish extravaganza—that is scheduled for Dec. 17. However, this doesn’t mean there wasn’t some consideration made as to who’d be invited to such an event.
With that in mind, we assembled a list of musicians that would make great guests at a birthday party. Next time a bash is being planned, consider shooting an invite to these party people.
Ad-Rock, Mike D, and MCA know a thing or two about partying, and if pressed, they’d likely posit that partying is an inalienable right. This New York City trio would not only bring some excitement to the event—as the music video for “Fight for Your Right” would suggest—but it’d probably also be able to offer up some great costume suggestions a la “Sabotage.” At the very least, they’d be able to hook everyone up with some fake mustaches, which is always a good look.
Andrew Fetterly Wilkes Krier has been quoted as saying parties cannot be killed and that in order to properly party, you must do so in the hardest of fashions. While his all-white attire may not be of the same quality that would be seen at one of P. Diddy’s shindigs, W.K.’s love of the party is unmatched. Even when W.K. injured himself on tour and had to perform from a wheelchair, he still brought his A-game. The fact he’s capable of doling out quality advice—as his short-lived television show “Your Friend Andrew W.K.” proved—makes him all the more desirable. He’s the total package, unless a little bloodshed would be a deal-breaker.
Patrick “Paddy” Costello
Dillinger Four’s bassist Paddy is known as much for his distinctive growl as his enigmatic presence. His time spent in D4—as well as the numerous other acts he’s been part of—has lead to Paddy becoming a legendary drinker. He was not only immortalized in NOFX’s song “Seeing Double at the Triple Rock,” but he also famously passed out in a Gainesville, Fla., parking lot and was attacked by fire ants while sleeping off his liquor. If debauchery is what’s needed, Paddy’s got it in spades.
Kiss bassist and reality television star Gene Simmons has made it known that he built his empire while avoiding drugs and alcohol, and that’s the main reason why Simmons would make for a great guest at one’s birthday. For a man as rich as Simmons, it wouldn’t be an issue if you put him in charge of catering or had him be the one to bring the cake. Really, it’s the least he could do. He’d only need a case of Diet Coke to himself to be happy. Well, maybe some platform heels, too.
Spending years as the hype man in Public Enemy has allowed Flavor Flav to become a larger-than-life personality. When he’s not busy backing the intimidating Chuck D, he spends time trying to court a house full of ladies while wearing a Viking helmet, a testament to his charmingly playful persona. Flav’s energy and excitement is always welcome, and his choice of jewelry will be a constant reminder of when the Domino’s down the street closes.
Kid ‘n Play
If finding a venue for this bash proves to be difficult, look no further than Christopher “Kid” Reid and Christopher “Play” Martin. These two hosts are known to meticulously scout areas in order to make sure the party won’t get prematurely busted by the cops or shut down by pesky parents. Kid ‘n Play knows the value of finding a place with adequate room for dance-offs, but just don’t take any hairstyle advice from them. As even they’d probably admit, it’s pretty whack, yo.
Every party needs at least one broodingly dark character, and it only helps when they are somewhat self-aware of it. Solo artist and former Replacements frontman Paul Westerberg would not only bring in the art school crowd, but he’d also probably be the one to end up drunkenly playing an acoustic guitar in the hallway. Luckily, this means there’s a chance of getting him to bust out “Can’t Hardly Wait,” which isn’t nearly as fun as the movie that bares its name.
George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic
If “PCU” has taught the world anything, it is that you never wear the T-shirt of the band you’re going to see to their show. Oh, and that George Clinton and P-Funk are possibly the best house band one could hope for. Yeah, there are like 98 members in this band, but that’s irrelevant when you want the funk. You gotta have that funk, right?
All good things must come to an end, and even the best birthday party is no exception. When it comes to closing out an evening, Minneapolis’ Semisonic knows a thing or two about how to properly do so. They may politely ask that you finish your whiskey or beer before vocalist Dan Wilson croons in that self-aggrandizing manner about which attendee wants to take him home. If guests are hesitant to leave just politely remind them, “You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”