Few musicians should be allowed to release holiday albums without being sent to the corner and forced to wear a dunce cap. Yet every year, like moths drawn to a flame, pop singers get the bright idea to create Christmas CDs, putting their “unique” twist on classic carols, as if the holiday season isn’t already stressful enough without the cheeky fa-la-la-la-las. Not every musician or band fails at holiday music, but, undoubtedly, there’s a critical balance to be met when remixing holiday music and upholding a decent reputation as a musician.
Here are three recently released Christmas albums to steer clear of.
Justin Bieber – Under the Mistletoe
We already knew Justin Bieber was an irksome little drummer boy, and his latest release Under the Mistletoe only further confirms it. His Christmas-themed album is a collection of remixed classics and original numbers, including several collaborations—Usher, Boyz II Men, Mariah Carey, Busta Rhymes and The Band Perry.
The first single released, “Mistletoe,” could not be more predictable. J. Bieb + Christmas = a song about him kissing his “shawty” under the mistletoe. If Jackson 5 were a verb, Bieber Jackson 5’d “Santa Claus is Coming to Town.” He jazzed up the original classic by adding some poppy beats and a background choir. He borrows caroling diva Carey for “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” With the exception of Bieber’s squeaky voice making random appearances, it’s a stretch to decipher the song from Carey’s 1994 version. Heavy beats, a splash of deep bass and some rapping back the albums’ sleeper tune, “Drummer Boy”—a duet between Bieber and Busta Rhymes.
Bieber will be sweeping more than just his hair this season; millions of parents will be taxed with having to purchase Under the Mistletoe for their adolescent daughters. Here’s hoping his voice drops before he’s able to create an album for next year’s holidays.
Michael Bublé – Christmas
Michael Bublé took his turn at remixing already-overdone, already-oversung Christmas songs. His classic, old-timey approach, however, has created an album that will appeal to all ages. Grandma probably won’t be singing along with J. Bieb, but she might be caught tapping a toe to Bublé’s Christmas.
Like Bieber, Bublé’s Christmas tribute incorporates several duets and special appearances from other artists —Thalia, Shania Twain and The Puppini Sisters. Bublé does a decent job of maintaining the songs’ time-honored sounds—he doesn’t need to add bling or tweak already-effective tempos. A traditionalist, Bublé chose conservative songs for his album, including “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas,” “Ave Maria” and “Jingle Bells.” It’s ironic and entertaining, however, to hear Bublé sing “Santa Baby”—a song typically performed by women (the likes of Madonna, Taylor Swift, Britney Spears, etc.).
http://youtu.be/lbbFpzly3eo
Christmas is as dapper as anything Bublé has ever put his voice to, big background band included.
She & Him – A Very She & Him Christmas
A Very She & Him Christmas is more like a very long nap. It’s got the typical She & Him mellow guitar and retro-sound vocals, applied to Christmas tunes. To give the indie duo some credit, the album doesn’t sound like every other holiday CD released this year. Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward managed to slow down already somber songs, such as “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” and “Christmas Song.” Yet they managed to perk up for “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” and “Little Saint Nick.” Although listeners should appreciate that they forego adding synthesizers or unwarranted drum beats to their tracklist, the album, overall, lacks enthusiasm or depth.
Unfortunately, She & Him produced a bunch of songs that will likely end up on a Starbucks’ holiday album. A Very She & Him Christmas is disappointingly generic and not what fans should expect from the charismatic duo.
