Let’s be honest, 2011 was not a good year for celebrity romances, particularly of the musical variety. There was Thurston Moore and Kim Gordon, there was JLo and Marc Anthony, Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, Jack White and Karen Elson.
And most recently: Katy Perry and Russell Brand.
To see these seemingly rock-hard relationships crumble, we at Pop ‘stache are left wondering, if they can’t make it, then who?
Answer: no one. Love isn’t real and we’re all screwed.
To make the loss of some of our favorite musically inclined couples a little bit easier, we did what we do best: made a playlist.
Oh, and uh, Russell: if you see this, call me.
“Skinny Love” – Bon Iver
Don’t mess with Justin Vernon, because he’ll write a song about you. And not just any song, but one that will inspire thousands of covers even if no one really knows what the song is actually about. But it sounds sad, and that’s enough when you’ve just been dumped, right? Excuse us while we go shed a tear “staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer.”
“Song for the Dumped” – Ben Folds Five
Ah, yes. Nothing quite helps numb the pain of a freshly broken heart like pure, unadulterated rage. And the award for the best “I Hate You” anthem? Ben Folds Five. “Song for the Dumped” takes the cake for this stage of grief. Just wait for when the group yells “Bitch!” after which they proceed to throw said cake out the window.
“I Would Be Sad” – The Avett Brothers
Bargaining. We’ve all been there. This is where one pleads with their Lord and Savior in the vein of, “I promise to go to temple for the rest of my life if Ricky would just call me and admit his undying love.” The Avett Brothers want you to know they have been there, too. On “I Would Be Sad,” the homeboys lay it all out, warning of the heartbreak that will befall them should their lady friend(s) decide to bail. Makes it more difficult to break up with someone if the consequences are spread out in front of you, doesn’t it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKNAfTowygA&feature=related
“Almost Lover” – A Fine Frenzy
“So long, my luckless romance/My back is turned on you/I should’ve known you’d bring me heartache/Almost lovers always do.”
With words like that, it’s impossible to be snarky. Can someone find whoever did this to her and stab them repeatedly in the jaw? Please?
“Single Ladies” – Beyoncé
This is for the moment when you’ve finally let go (or more importantly, the moment that Russell is back on the market). So put your hands up!
