The Holiday season doesn’t get enough credit for the things it does when we’re not looking. Understandably, there’s the cliché spirit of the holidays, which usually includes baking, buttoning your pea coat, or sitting down to watch “Elf” or “It’s A Wonderful Life” with a cup of hot chocolate. But so often people forget how the holidays not only get people in the spirit, but also get us in the mood.
When the frigid weather has people forced to stay indoors as much as possible, there’s really no reason not to use the blankets as an excuse to fool around! After all, body heat is the best kind of heat, and we’ve got some sexually charged Christmas songs to help you break a sweat and fight off the inevitable weight gain with a good-looking partner.
1. “All I Want For Christmas Is You” – Mariah Carey
If this woman in a skimpy Santa outfit doesn’t already do it for you, perhaps nothing will. But at least consider that Mariah’s voice is begging you to plant your lips on another’s, regarding how hard she sells her message by belting those powerful notes in the final chorus. She reminds us that it’s not about material wishes when she explains “I don’t care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree/ I just want you for my own/ more than you could ever know.”
2. “Christmas Tree” – Lady GaGa
GaGa’s original “Christmas Tree” is the most literally suggestive Christmas song of all time. It might hold the title for a while, too, because they don’t come around very often. GaGa plays off of popular Christmas songs by making every seasonal item, like the Christmas tree, “Ho ho ho” and “Fa La La la la” as a euphemism for sex. If you’re down to get kinky, this is your shit. If not, sit back and laugh at the creative input that no other artist has ever managed to contribute.
3. “Santa Baby” – Eartha Kitt
For the love of role play, this is a godsend. Here, Santa Claus allows himself to be seduced because the singer argues that she’s been “an awful good girl.” Women such as Madonna, Marilyn Monroe and even Shakira have taken a stab at this song at some point. All of them babes.
4. “Mistletoe” – Colbie Callait
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UU0P7MqZJE
Any song that mentions mistletoe is a dirty one without a doubt, but this one especially. Colbie gets specific as she describes her holiday wishes. She gives the plant full credit for setting the mood, and remains sultry and solemn in the process.
5. “Blue Christmas” – Elvis Presley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ODrPL9-kEs
Elvis’s signature gyrating hips aren’t the item making people swoon this time around. It’s his voice in tandem with his bluesy despair. He chimes “I’ll be so blue just thinking about you” in his sweet baritone before throwing away all things tangible again to explain “decorations of red/on a green Christmas tree/won’t mean a thing/if you’re not here with me.” We’re pretty sure he means all of that, in bed, too.
6. “Merry Christmas Baby”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDV0Y6UK0zs
From such voices as Ray Charles, Otis Redding, Elvis and Bruce Springsteen, we have been brought the sexiest Christmas song of all time. Low bass lines and space for a crazy bluesy guitar solo make for a soulful holiday treat. Lines like “I’m feelin’ mighty fine” and “Merry Christmas, baby/you sure been good to me” remain tasteful while still sending the ultimate message of desire when paired with the laid-back sounds of horny holiday pastimes.
It’s the perfect combination, and the ultimate Winter aphrodisiac.
7. “Baby It’s Cold Outside” – Margaret Whiting and Johnny Mercer
The dialogue in this cutesy jam can melt anyone’s heart. Thoughts of apprehension, desire and temptation are spilled out into the ultimate Christmas duet. Again, if it’s too cold outside, mix another drink and use each other for warmth. It seems to work every time!
