Lou Reed and Metallica – Lulu

written by: November 4, 2011
Lou Reed & Metallica - Lulu Release Date: October 31, 2011

☆☆☆☆☆

After sharing the stage at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 25th anniversary concert in 2009, Metallica and Lou Reed wanted more. They wanted to build upon the experience. After the show, the group decided their washed-up and worn-out sounds would work great in collaboration and that an album should be made.

The deformed brainchild was set to be conceived.

With everyone in agreement, the two parties headed up to Metallica’s studio in northern California to begin their work together. And after a 24-month gestation period, the world is now to be victimized by Reed and Metallica’s mutant offspring, Lulu. What was originally going to be a cover album of deep tracks of Reed’s turned into a 90-minute, two-disc assault on every naïve listener willing to press “play.”

To summarize the onslaught: Reed’s quivering howl over Metallica’s backtrack sounds like the deranged ramblings of a weak senior citizen straining to rant over his grandson’s music.

It’s frankly unbearable.

Reed’s lyrical irrelevancy was relevant when it was driven by opiates but now, when mixed with decades of being disconnected, it manifests itself into, well, this album. A man with a firmly grounded iconic class and financial stability had no business making this album, unless the goal was to embarrass himself. But given Reed’s renowned asshole-ish nature and colossal ego, he must have figured the tracks on this album actually sounded good, which only proves his being disconnected and egotistical—not to mention the self-indulgent second disc that is only four tracks yet 47 minutes long.

As for Metallica, Lulu is just another misshapen, unidentifiable chunk among the regurgitated sick that the group has been turning out. The majority of ex-Metallica fans have stopped waiting for the band to return to the days of Kill ‘Em All and Ride the Lightning and have accepted the fact that their heroes of yore are dead.

And now Reed is following in Metallica’s footsteps.

Lou Reed and Metallica – Lulu tracklist:

  1. “Brandenburg Gate”
  2. “The View”
  3. “Pumping Blood”
  4. “Mistress Dread”
  5. “Iced Honey”
  6. “Cheat on Me”
  7. “Frustration”
  8. “Little Dog”
  9. “Dragon”
  10. “Junior Dad”